Vampanezegirl97's Birthday Present
by Dead L E
Summary: A little story I wrote, just for Vampgirl! It's silly, I know...


**Happy birthday to you,  
>Happy birthday to you,<br>****Happy birthday dear Vampgirl,  
>Happy birthday to you!<strong>

**This story is dedicated to Vampanezegirl97 for her birthday! Isn't this awesome? SHE'S FIFTEEN! CELEBRATE!**

***hands out champagne to everyone* YAY!**

**Anyway, if any of you find this fic hard to understand... um... well... um... basically... There's a big house and it has a long corridor. On one side of the corridor, there's a big room which was used for dancing on Valentine's Day, behind that, there's a room with a bunch of CD players, it's made for playing music, so that you can dance. A bit further away there's a changing room. DON'T ASK WHY! I just make my settings up randomly!**

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><p>*Steve is being pushed into a big room surrounded by pictures of hearts by Darren and Larten*<p>

Steve: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!

Darren: Shhh! Be quiet! Wait a second…

Steve: *calming down* Why are you guys doing this?

Larten: It was not my idea! I would have preferred killing you, but Dead L E said today was a very special day…

Steve: Dude! Valentine's Day was YESTERDAY!

Larten: I know.

Darren: She didn't mean Valentine's Day.

Steve: Then… What DID she mean?

Larten: You will soon see…

Steve: But… What… Why… *Larten and Darren leave*

*Vampgirl97 is looking around a room, she looks confused*

Vampgirl97: The instructions on the map clearly say that I should go to the room with hearts if I want my birthday present… What does that mean?

Genie: *appearing out of nowhere* Look into the depths of you! You will find that the answer is already within you!

Vampgirl97: CHARNA'S GUTS? What the hell was that for?

Genie: Hey! I'm just doing my job! Now look inside the depths of you!

Vampgirl97: NO AND NO AND NO AND NO! I don't even know how to do that!

Genie: Fine! I'm just trying to help… *disappears*

Vampgirl97: Ummm….. Could it be… The room we had the Valentine's Day party in? Could be… I guess…

*Back in the other room, Steve is pacing up and down nervously*

Steve: AAAAAH! What's so special about today? It isn't… OH GODS! NO! IT CAN'T BE! Is it… International hit-Steve-Leonard-also-known-as-Leopard-with-a-3-inch-stick Day? Does that even exist?

Genie: *appearing* I don't think so.

Steve: Really? And where did YOU come from?

Genie: I just appeared! But fine… I'll leave. *leaves*

Steve: Whatever this is, I need to find a way of escaping. Quick!

*Back at where Vampgirl97 is*

Vampgirl97: *to herself* Hmm…. Oh look! There's a secret compartment in the map! If you pull the ribbon, a piece of paper comes out! *reading the paper out loud*

"_Go to the room of wardrobes first,_

_Count to three,_

_And prepare for the worst,"_

Vampgirl97: *laughing* That must be one of the worst clues ever! She's talking about the changing room, duh! *runs off to the changing room* Alright then… Umm… I was meant to count to three… 1… 2… 3!

Dead L E: *jumping out of a wardrobe* BOO!

Vampgirl97: *sarcastically* Wow. That was definitely the best present ever. And that "boo" was so scary.

Dead L E: Shut up. That's NOT your birthday present! I just came to give you these. *Hands out blood red dress and ruby red earings*

Vampgirl97: What? Is that my present? It's nice but… I don't know many places where I can wear that sort of thing…

Dead L E: Just put it on!

Vampgirl97: Okay, okay, fine! Wow! The earrings look like drops of blood!

Dead L E: I made them!

Vampgirl97: Really?

Dead L E: Yes, but don't tell my brother. I stole them from his precious rock collection.

Vampgirl97: *puts the dress and earrings on* Okay then. Bye!

Dead L E: Wait!

Vampgirl97: What? I need to get my birthday presents!

Dead L E: You forgot your shoes…

Vampgirl97: Oh yeah… But I don't WANT bright red high heels!

Dead L E: I'm not going to give you bright red high heels! I'm going to give you these. *gives Vampgirl97 the awesomest shoes in the entire universe*

Vampgirl97: *putting them on* Thanks! But I have to go now, and if you keep me back any longer I'll bite your head off like I did with Debbie.

Dead L E: *shudders* Okay, bye!

*Vampgirl97 walks out of the room, muttering to herself*

Vampgirl97: Hmmm… Where did we have our Valentine's Day party?

Genie: *appearing* Look inside the-

Vampgirl97: SHUT UP! I'M THINKING! *bites the Genie's head off*

Genie Number 2: *appearing out of nowhere* Why did you have to eat him?

Vampgirl97: He annoyed me. I'll do the same for you if you're not careful.

Genie Number 2: *disappears*

Vampgirl97: Good riddance! Now… Where was I?

*behind the Valentine's Day party room*

Larten: Where is the compact disc Dead L E mentioned?

Darren: You mean the CD?

Larten: Yes. Why is it called a seedee?

Darren: It's a _CD. _It's called a CD because the first letter in compact is a C and the first letter in disc is- Why am I even explaining this?…

Larten: I do not know. Where is the compact disc?

Darren: Oh… Right. I think she gave it to you.

Larten: No, I clearly recall her giving it to you.

Darren: No. She gave it to you.

Larten: She gave it to you.

Darren: No. You have it.

Larten: I do not. She gave it to you.

Darren: She gave it to you.

Larten: No, she gave it to you.

Darren: I give up. *looks around* Oh look! The CD was right next to us the entire time!

Larten: *picks it up* Where should I put it?

Darren: Inside the CD player, duh.

Larten: *puts it in the CD player*

CD Player: _BABY, BABY, BABY OOOOOOOOH!_

Darren: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS!

Larten: MAKE IT STOP!

Darren: DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE! I'LL ADMIT THAT I HURT MY SISTER WITH MY TARANTULA ONCE WHEN I WAS SEVEN!

Larten: I HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE, BUT I DO NOT DESERVE THIS TORTURE!

*Where Steve is*

Steve: I KNEW THEY WERE TRYING TO TORTURE ME! I JUST KNEW IT! *runs around with his hand over his ears trying to find an exit and clearly overlooking the open door*

*Back to Darren and Larten*

Kurda: *comes rushing in*Why did you steal my Justin Bieber CD? *Larten and Darren continue to suffer and ignore him, so Kurda takes the CD out*

Larten: Thank you, I could have died.

Darren: I thought I HAD died for a minute there! This music is worse than the Lake of Souls!

Kurda: Don't be so mean about my Justin!

Darren: How did you know we had the CD anyway?

Kurda: Someone decided to replace my Justin Bieber CD with a Britney Spears CD. No prizes guessing who _that_ was.

Darren: Vampgirl97? Nope… Never heard of her…

Kurda: But how… Ummm… Er… Okay… I'll just give you the CD, I don't like Britney Spears. *leaves*

Darren: Phew, that was a close shave!

Larten: You shave?

Darren: It's a figure of speech. Now… Let's see if the CD is the right one. *puts the CD in*

CD Player: _HE IS A HUSTLER  
>HE'S NO GOOD AT ALL<br>HE IS A LOSER, HE'S A BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM  
>HE LIES, HE BLUFFS<br>HE'S UNRELIABLE.  
>HE IS A SUCKER WITH A GUN, GUN, GUN, GUN.<em>

Darren: Wow! This actually pretty good!

Larten: Music nowadays is ruined.

Darren: No, it isn't. This is great!

Larten: I preferred it when music was actually music, not just words and…

Darren: THIS IS GREAT! NOW SHUT UP!

*Back to Vampgirl97, she's standing right in front of the door to the party room*

Vampgirl97: YAY! I figured out the clue!

Genie: *appearing* Thanks to me!

Vampgirl97: No… Thanks to me! How did you arrive? I thought I'd bitten your head off…

Genie: You did, but I grew it back. I _am_ a genie.

Vampgirl97: Oh… How long does it take for you to grow your head back?

Genie: Five minutes.

Vampgirl97: Oh well, at least it'll buy me some time… *bites Genie's head off* Ummm… So I guess I should go inside now… *walks inside*

Vampgirl97: *hears criminal* Wow! It's my theme song!

Steve: *seeing Vampgirl97* You look… Amazing!

Vampgirl97: Steve! *runs up to him* I thought you were dead!

Steve: No… I'm not…

Vampgirl97: Of course you're not! But this is so amazing!

CD Player: *continues playing*_BUT MAMA IM IN LOVE WITH A CRIMINAL  
>AND THIS TYPE OF LOVE<br>ISN'T RATIONAL, IT'S PHYSICAL  
>MAMA PLEASE DON'T CRY<br>I WILL BE ALRIGHT  
>ALL REASONS INSIDE<br>I JUST CANT DENY  
>LOVE THE GUY<em>

Steve: *confused* What is this song?

Vampgirl97: Criminal by Britney Spears, it's my theme song…

Steve: What's it about?

Vampgirl97: Me and you!

CD Player: _AND HE'S GOT MY NAME  
>TATOOED ON HIS ARM<br>HIS LUCKY CHARM,  
>SO I GUESS ITS OKAY<br>HE'S WITH ME._

Steve: They got that bit wrong! I don't have your name tattooed on my- *looks at his arm* Oh… Gods…

Vampgirl97: Yes. I tattooed your arm when you were asleep yesterday. Don't look at me like that! It's my birthday today…

Steve: it's your birthday?

Vampgirl97: Duh.

Steve: Doesn't it strike you a bit odd that you are in a room decorated with hearts, your theme song playing in the background and your crush brought back from the dead?

Vampgirl97: Yeah… I HATE HEARTS! Wait… *rips off one of the hearts* OMG! Someone drew fangs on the wall underneath the hearts…

Steve: AWESOME! I always loved fangs! It's a pity vampires don't have any. They look cool.

Vampgirl97: Yeah, but they aren't very practical.

Steve: Yeah.

*They listen to the music for five minutes (Criminal is playing over and over, as well as Breathless, Superman and Superstar by Taylor Swift) in silence*

Steve: Hey… Uh… Vampgirl?

Vampgirl97: Yeah?

Steve: Ummm… You look cool… and… There's… like… music… and stuff… So… I was wondering…

Vampgirl97: *irritated* Yes?

Steve: Will you… Dance with me?

Vampgirl97: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YAY! YOU ASKED ME TO DANCE! OMG!

Steve: Wow! Calm down…

Vampgirl97: *dancing around the room* HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? THIS IS AMAZING!

Dead L E, Larten, Darren, Kurda, Genie and Genie Number 2: Aaaaw…. They're such a cute couple together…

Dead L E: I have to film this and put it on YouTube!

Vampgirl97: But…

Dead L E: I was kidding! Anyway, Steve would look too blurry, he's a half vampaneze!

Steve: Where did you all come from?

Dead L E: My fic, my rules. I appear whenever I want and anyway, I have something to tell you guys.

Vampgirl97: What?

Dead L E: This was _meant_ to be a romance fic… But… I can't write romance…

Vampgirl97: That's okay, just let me kill the Genies, I'll feel better then.

Dead L E: NO! They're mine.

Vampgirl97: FINE! What are you going to do about it now?

Dead L E: I'm going to end the fic the moment you two kiss. That way, you guys can do whatever you want afterwards and no one will know!

Steve: *winks at Vampgirl97*

Vampgirl97: Okay… Wait, WHAT?

Dead L E: I'm just kidding! But I will end the fic when you kiss.

Vampgirl97: Like that's going to hap- *Steve kisses Vampgirl97*

THE END.

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><p><strong>HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Steve kissed you... STEVE KISSED YOU!<strong>

**Just so you know, Kurda wrote most of the romance. He's actually quite good! (It's a pity there wasn't much...) He thought it would be more romantic if you kissed Steve and not the other way round, but I was still mad at Kurda for playing Mistletoe in my room, so I did the opposite.**

**Love you guys!**


End file.
